If you’ve read any of my past posts, it is obvious that I am a girl who loves to travel. The journey trumps the destination every time for me. No cliché, just my truth. You gotta love when you’ve taken a trip or two and your geographic location remained the same. This past weekend was so rich in experiences from just being present in my life. I believe my ‘Parisian Butterfly’ showed up in my spirit and was like “Let’s GO!”.
My weekend formula wasn’t too different from the normal routine. Catching up with a great friend, check. Taking care of a little personal business, check. Smiling at the handsome stranger who isn’t afraid to look me in my eyes, check. But something changed for me these past 72 hours. I am taking a huge leap of faith in my attempt to record it literally… because frankly I am not sure of the “what”, that it is I want to express. Try your best to follow me please.
I saw the future. I am semi speaking metaphorically, but not really. Still with me? The encounters that I had with old and new friends, strangers even, has granted me a back stage pass of what lies ahead for my life. I am some type of wonderful, If I must say so myself. That declaration is not birthed from a place of arrogance or conceit. The space that I am in has granted me permission to see those amazing, wonderful, inexplicable and Loving things about myself through YOU. Not you personally, well maybe if you are one of my many new subscribers (Hey Guys :)! ) When I say you I mean you as in ‘a people’ so to speak. And I LOVE YA’LL for this moment like you would not believe. For a great deal of my life, my mind has been in a constant tennis match between good and evil thoughts about myself. For so long the dark and ugly dominated my mind until the point that it became comfortable to hear certain thoughts that produced death, fear and worthlessness. I have been working so diligently to counteract and eliminate all negativity from my life starting with me, and my thoughts. We have a tendency to express that we want to get rid of negative people, spaces and blah blah blah. I get it, I really do. But how many of us actually take accountability for the atmosphere we provide that invites these things we wish to eliminate, but create a welcome mat for? It starts with you…and me.
I’ve challenged myself with being purposeful in my thoughts. Once I allowed my mind to calm down a little and actually listen to them… I realized I was experiencing more traffic of the negative than the positive. A negative thought in my opinion is ANYTHING that counteracts a possibility for hope. Here is an example: “They may not go for that idea” is the same language as “I hate myself”. It may not appear that serious to you. However I am in a space where if it does not produce life, I do not wish to have any parts of it. My personal project consists of me recording myself loving on me audibly several times throughout the day. At the end of the day I play back and listen to myself give me so much love. Yes. That is what I am doing when I have several minutes of stillness, I talk to myself. Literally.
What has happened in return in such a short period of time is magical. I left my home on Friday morning and went many places without boarding a plane, a train or a bus (excluding the MTA, I live in NYC). My spirit traveled to Wholeness. Fulfillment. Discovery. And much more that I still am unable to articulate. You guys once I gave myself permission to talk good to me…it was like a new light begin to shine and attract all kinds of goodies. Let’s just say, stay tuned.
Where will you go that requires just your presence?
Just in case you don’t know, my Parisian Butterfly is a white butterfly I discovered while I visited Montmartre in Paris over two years ago. It symbolizes my next, when I see them anywhere in the world I know that my hand is being held by the Ultimate Care Giver and I better hold on. In short it gives me hope, keeps me pressing on.